To celebrate my triumphant return, like Ulysses returning from the Peloponnesians, I've decided to dedicate my first post to the reality show that everyone's talking about: The Bachelor.
Reality Steve (www.realitysteve.com) was 100% correct in his spoiler predictions!
So, as everyone knows (because it made the morning news -- I mean, even Evangeline Lilly refused to sit next to him on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night!) Jason dumped Molly, proposed to Melissa, dumped Melissa and then chose Molly.
The whole thing really played out like the worst telenovela ever. This isn't even worthy of Amor Real.
First of all, if they wanted to bring the drama and raw emotion, they should have chosen a better actor, because Jason's acting skills STINK.
Note to Jason: When crying, tears have to be involved.
It just looked like he was trying to pass a kidney stone.
It became clear that the whole thing was set up when Molly kept crying about how he made the worst mistake of his life and he's going to regret it.
Ooooh, foreshadowing. Why so clever, Bachelor producers?
And millions of people learned about Jason's "regret" on the After the Rose special.
Chris Harrison started the hour by telling us what we were about to watch was so sensitive and so intimate that they decided out of respect for all parties involve to shoot it without a studio audience. Yeah, really intimate...with millions of people watching. Intimate for who...Jenna Jamison?
So, Jason came out and said that after spending time with Melissa, he realized they weren't right for each other. Then Melissa came out, Jason broke it off with her and she proceeded to show him up in the acting department.
After Melissa and Jason played out their scene, she gave the ring back and stormed off into a waiting limo. Then Molly came out, Jason asked her to be his and they lived happily ever after. *eye roll*
For the record: Jason told People that he wanted to quit Melissa off-camera, but producers said it was in his contract that it had to be done in front of everybody. Whatta guy.
I'm sure that on tonight's third reunion show (yes, there's another one), Jason will dump Molly and propose marriage to Clive Owen.
Below is a clip of Jason's amazing acting skills. Get the Oscar ready.
And what was up with that set?! All those cheap tea lights! Fire hazard!
Actually, I would've clapped if the whole joint went up in flames.
